Pam Spam, former supermodel:
“In internet parlance, spam is a means to reach an audience. That this be so, Do we have agreement?
“I loved it when the attention of America was shifted towards me, and I glowed. I did, you know– I glowed and I glittered, and sparkled 365.
“I shimmered, I glimmered, I shimmied like a Chevy, doing 95.
“I bounced, flounced, drank champagne, to acclaim,
“Mistook a green, but pimento red olive for a cocktail onion, and a cocktail onion for a worm; a worm for a miner’s frostbitten toe.
Jubilee Abyssmal, Model’s Agent Extraordinaire :
Spam is broadcast to as many audience members as possible. Do we have agreement?
Spam is a numbers game.
Someone, or some thing, throws a can of Spam, out through the intertubes to an audience of ten million. A thousand of those ten million hook in. The percentage is low but if Spam had not been used, only one would have hooked in. Spam was a thousand times more effective than non-Spam. Non-Spam could have included junk mail, or an all-points bulletin, or yellow journalism.
Spam of Human Affection 
Leave a comment