Real Spam Estate

9 East 71st Street might better be known as 9 East 71st Spam Central.

There must be some good reason none of the owners, or frequent guests, ever gave, as the address of their destination,

“Yeah, we’re goin’ over to Spam Central.”

It is curious they didn’t speak of going there for a “good time”, or for the “good life”.

“Yeah, we’re heading over to Spam Central because that’s where the good times are happening.”

“They got some happening chicks at Spam Central, some spiffy babes, with gumption. But what the chic chicetta banana bone chiclet are doing at Spam Central, we declare an innocence.

“In the same way Germie Burger of both Frankfurt, despite its school, or blustrum, we mean Hamburg, when a hot dog comes with relish, beautiful diced onions, lots of mustard, ketchup squeezed on there, and in a way, through these condiments, a hamburger and a hot dog are related. Hamburgers are rarely enjoyed with relish; hot dogs, rarely with mayonaisse.”

H-E was one of these hot chicks at Spam Central. She was a “southern gal”, though of the midwest– of Nebraska– a southern belle, ringing out freedom into a swell, singing out rhymes, into a liberty bell, lifting with cleft hooks a gingham pretty umbrella, but H-E would never tell. H-E was glad to be a guest, and in turn, a host, at this hot hostel, fandango, castanets, tap dancing steel heels, sunshine– Spam Central had a roof, a Conestoga, a dimpled sweet sun roof, a glass-bottomed boat, a shimmy shimmy shake, a go slow,

When H-E was in Nebraska, she developed a fondness for mayonaisse. Was that because H-E was from County Mayo, Ireland? No, because the word is mayonaisse, which reflects, as I see it, a French influence. Paris, probably. A sauce. When you get down to it, H-E was always saucey. She came into 9 East 71st Street precisely because she was saucey. Go Figure!